Adult Toy Review- Rating XXX

A competition, on Facebook!
Oh what do I have to do?
Vote on this, like a post,
Refer a friend or two?

You've gotta be in it to win it,
Was my motto, which stood by me.
But I think my obsession has gone too far,
Knowing what it is, was not the key.

I saw a post by Naughty Partys
A give away, she said.
Get your friends to come over and say hi,
And you can win this toy for bed.

I glanced at the picture,
My eyes got a little wider.
I've never seen anything so odd,
Looks like a rubber table cloth slider.

"Why not," my brain said to me.
Make it fun, if I win, I'll review it.
Surely another will want it more,
They'll have more friends, I knew it.

But my friends stood by me,
Went over and said hi.
I blushed at the postman,
Grimaced and waved good bye.

Here I hold the package,
Instructions in my hand.
In an empty house,
I look at my wedding band.

I feel the pressure to use it,
It's like it's taunting me.
Don't be scared, light some candles,
How awkward can this be?

..................................................................................................................


Well, let me just say,
I wasn't expecting that.
My imagination was far more horrible,
I thought I'd finish flat.

By myself I couldn't do it,
So I waited for the man.
We had some wine, got in the mood,
Finished watching Wedding Band.

And in the bedroom, together,
It wasn't even scary.
Ok- that's a lie,
Sorry Virgin Mary.

We played and we giggled,
It wasn't what I thought.
Back and front hole, no no.
It's for the button and the lady port.

So we played Christian and Ana,
Not that he knew the game.
But we tried something different,
And it was special all the same.

Now with out getting graphic,
Because Mum and Dad are reading this.
Using an adult toy in the bedroom,
Is certainly not a cuddle and a kiss.

So if you're feeling flat,
Talk to the ladies at Naughty Partys
Grab some batteries and some wine,
It'll make your heart race for starties.

And we're all adults here,
And we know you want to try it.
Don't be scared, have a look,
Message them and buy it!