Saturday, 19 May 2012

Other People's Darlings

*** This is not aimed at one child in particular... but rather everyone's children***

Other people's children piss me off.

They are lovely and gorgeous when they are well behaved and entertaining my children, not needing anything, have good manners, and are quiet. When they aren't I dislike them to the point of rudeness. I know that I do this, but I can't help it. There's eye rolling, silly excuses and my favourite, the distraction technique.

I'm sure other people feel the same way about my kids, and roll their eyes when Joey is annoying their children by casually leaning on them, hugging them without their permission and roaring in their ears. I'm sure other people feel the same way when Andy is demanding that their child share, but then wont share what he's playing with and whining at monster truck decibel levels. But they are my kids, and these characteristics, while aren't perfect, are endearing and can be put down to "they're only two and three"... and after all, they have taught me the distraction technique.

"Can you help me by putting a blanket on the twins"
"Sneak up on Joey and see what he's doing"
"What's Jinx (the cat) doing?"
"Where's Teddy?"
"Why don't you see if you can catch a chicken?"
"Can you go and find me two purple cars?" (Knowing we only have one)
"Go and find Andy and see if he wants to play Dora and Diego"
"I think I hear Daddy/Granny/Nanna calling you"

All these and more I put to good use when dealing with other peoples children. If I didn't use this technique, I think I would smack them... or at least tell them to get off me and go away.

I made myself laugh today using this on three children at the same time (two of my own and one other) by getting them to play magic dinosaurs... I have no idea what I meant when I said "Go out the back and play magic dinosaurs" but it worked, and I even got a compliment from the carer of the ring in saying what a great mum I am. *smug* When really I was thinking, God this kid is being a brat... just play nicely with my boys or get lost.

So, Mothers and Fathers, Grandparents and other people who get pissed off irrationality at other people's little darlings, use this to your advantage, and come out the good guy.

You're welcome.

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